Incivility

I was working on a long, elaborate post on the topic of civil discourse and dealing with conflict. It went on and on about my quick temper, civility, and the past few years' effort to let my better nature win out over the adrenaline rush of anger. It had very little to say that can't be said much more simply:

Speaking as person who is prone to getting all worked up and then launching ineffective lines of argument, I just want to take a moment to recommend to the ether the incredible value of imagining one's self in one's audience's place, or, even better, doing enough information gathering to be able to imagine how one's audience might respond, even if it's different from how one might respond, and then building one's approach accordingly.

Because it's hard to find common ground with someone *after* you've driven over their feet, undermined their authority, made them defensive, or otherwise gotten them generally disposed against you. This is true no matter how justified, or unjustified, you are in your frustration. It's also true whether or not you "started it."

Of course, saying this is easier than doing it. Feel free to remind me of this post next time I get all riled up and fuming.